I'm not sure who's worse: the men enrolled in VH1's Tool Academy or the women who agree to be on the show and say they love them.

I think I actually got dumber from watching this clip, which is to say, "Watch it now!"

"This Christmas"

This is TBID's sole holiday jam. It beats anything about front teeth and philandering moms.

"I'm Gonna Make You Love Me" - Stevie Wonder and Diana Ross

One of my favorite YouTube videos ever. I think Stevie needs to cut his hair again.

Stock market got you down? I stumbled upon this humor article called "How to Talk to Your Kids About Stocks" this week. Here's an excerpt:

Ages 10-14: By the time they turn 10, most youngsters will begin displaying a natural and healthy curiosity about stocks. Many will start asking questions about why their family looks different from other families: "Why is Bobby's house bigger than mine?" or "Do all kids get dividends?" At this point, you need to have another talk about the importance of making good decisions when it comes to stocks. Although children in this age group are still too immature to hear about a parent's experience with stocks, it's important to impress on them that people who make bad stock decisions as teenagers may never recover. At this point, you may want to buy them one of the young-adult books on the subject. (Discreetly leave it on their pillow if they're too embarrassed.) Although it has been banned from some school libraries for its frankness, a superb book is Are You There God? It's Me, Mary Meeker.

I am currently obsessed with this song.

It's true.

I just saw this commercial. It doesn't beat the one with Little Richard, but it's pretty groovy.

My yoga class isn't this funny or clothed.

This commercial is bizarre and full of rabbits - two qualities that make it better than most of the stuff on television these days.

"I think we're dead."

Julia showed this to me after school today. If this police officer thinks his time is going by "really really really really slow," he should try being in a hot classroom with twenty-three fifth and sixth graders. Without drugs.

I smile every time I see this.

It's Alanis Morissette! "Whatcha gonna do with all that ass inside them jeans?" has never sounded so plaintive.

You Are 24% Texas

You're as welcome in Texas as a skunk at a lawn party.

How Texas Are You?

*I stole this from April. She calls it the "If it ain't in Texas, you don't need it" survey.

1. First of all, where in Texas have you lived?
Odem, Corpus Christi, Austin.

2. Where's your favorite place to chill in Texas?
My parents' house in Corpus? Zilker Park in Austin? The UT campus and surrounding Drag on a warm spring day? It's been a long time since I chilled in Texas.

3. Have you ever been on a boat in Lake Travis?
I've canoed on Town Lake, but that's not the same thing.

4. Do you go camping?
Once with my family when I was a kid. It was an experience Ernest Hemingway would have written about. We camped at Garner State Park. I remember lots of tubing, climbing Mount Baldy, and cooking Spaghettio's on a campfire. It made a real man out of me.

5. Do you use the word "ya'll"?
I did in the past, along with the phrase "fixin' to" and the word "spankin.'" Then I got all self-conscious about sounding like an idiot.

6. Have you ever owned a truck?
No, but almost every guy I dated in high school did. It was hot.

7. Have you ever had heat exhaustion?
My dad did once. He'd been working in the attic and then outdoors. Suddenly, he was vomiting and faint. It was frightening.

8. How many "Texas snows" have you witnessed?
Three. The history-making Corpus Christ white Christmas of 2005 and two others in Austin. Each time, all roads and businesses were completely shut down and Texas Rangers were called in for backup. All for two powdery inches.

9. Have you ever ice skated outdoors?
Not in Texas.

10. Have you ever squirted one of your parents with a water gun?
Probably. We used to keep water guns at home to torture/discipline our cats.

11. Do you prefer the Spurs or the Mavs?
I honestly don't know what sport they play.

12. Do you like the city or the country?
I prefer to live in the city, but I appreciate visits to the country.

13. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk?
No, but I don't mind the smell. To me, it smells like pencil erasers. Hundreds of them.

14. Have you ever run over an armadillo?
Perhaps one that was already squashed and spread on the road.

15. Have you ever been to a Cowboys game?
Nope. But there was a picture of Troy Aikman hanging up in my school cafeteria back in the day. He likes milk.

16. Have you ever been to a Stars or an Icebats game?
I've been to an Icerays game. Hockey's fun.

17. What's your favorite Mexican food restaurant?
Kiko's in Corpus Christi. Ninfa's or Chuy's (yeah, I know it's actually Tex-Mex) in Austin.

18. Have you ever drank Shiner beer?
I'm not a beer drinker.

19. Have you ever been on a hayride?
I rode through a lot of grass and hay on a trailer at my grandpa's ranch once.

20. Have you ever ridden a horse?
A horse? Of course!

21. Were you in 4-H or FFA?
Hell no. I took Food Science as an elective in high school so I wouldn't have to learn to weld a barbeque pit or inseminate a pig in Agriculture class.

22. Which place in Texas has the best scenery/view?
Enchanted Rock in the Hill Country maybe. I really like the Greenbelt in Austin.

23. Which grocery store do you shop?
H.E.B. My mom lives la vida Super Wal-Mart.

24. Have you ever partied in a barn?
No, but I've milked a goat in one, which is kind of like a party.

25. Have you ever partied in a pasture?
No, but I've run around in one, which is kind of like a party getting busted.

26. Do you like keg beer?
No beer for me.

27. Are you Baptist?
No, but I attended a Baptist church for awhile. It led to my distrust of organized religion and conservatives.

28 Have you ever been swimming in a river or creek?
Yes, and I did not contract hepatitis.

29. How many presidents do you know lived in Texas?
LBJ and the Bush people.

30. Have you ever been on the Comal River?
Is that the one that runs through Schlitterbahn? If so, yes.

31. Is/was your school big?
High school = small. College = the biggest there is.

32. How many times have you been to Houston?
I'm not sure. Few. I've never even been to Dallas.

33. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
Only the real thing for me, 'cause I'm a liar like that.

34. Have you ever been to the rodeo?
I dated the son of a professional barrel racer, so I saw her at the rodeo.

35. Do you own a cowboy hat?
I prefer sombreros.

Has anyone bought the dvd yet? Or plan to?

I love these prank call soundboards. Hilarious!

"I'm a cop, you eee-diot!"

Too/2 Funny

Team America - The Dirty Truth About "Cats"

Tom Vu Infomercial

Too/2 Groovy

"Walk On The Wild Side"
-Lou Reed

"I'm Glad I Hitched My Apple Wagon To Your Star"
-The Boy Least Likely To

Hardee har har. I really liked this when it was on ABC for all of six episodes back in 2001. I remember watching this the third day I lived in Austin.