Ten Things I Meant To Tell You Yesterday

10) I knew it was going to be a good day when I could overhear the music blaring from the headphones of an urban youth next to me on the subway bench, and realized it was Todd Rundgren's "Hello, It's Me." I love that song.

9) Christopher Buckley's Boomsday is so original and clever and naughty that I saw him read a few weeks ago. He said, "People are way too protective of the elderly. It's like, if you even mention Social Security reform, they say, 'Oh, you hate old people.' But really, the elderly are a huge drain and we've gotta do something about it." I want the book for my birthday - hint, hint.

8) The six fat, greedy, Lawnguy Land-dwelling owners of my apartment building are trying to eradicate all the working, student-loan paying tenants (e.g. me). My rent went from a sweet preferential rate to an exorbitant legal rate. I learned the news on a chaste scrap of legalese that basically said, "We're jackin' things up, yo! You gots to bounce if you can't pay up, chump!"

I handled this catastrophe like all the others - excessive crying, then looking up my legal rights, then crying. In the end, I visited one of those lovely state buildings where I was given a really hard time at the metal detector. I learned that the steep rent hike was legal, though completely immoral and likely to send the building owners to hell. All I could do was negotiate. I met with my building manager and did just that. I get to live here for another year, and yes, I got it all in writing.

7) I have a hole in my beloved beaded black slip-ons from November 2005. It's conspicuous, as it's right at the toe. I'm not sure I could handle throwing the shoes out, because I bought them for $10 when my parents were visiting. Great origins, these shoes have. I also just love the beading and haven't been able to find any other shoes like this. Just a minute ago, I had this hare-brained idea that I would cut up the shoes and use the detailed beading to decorate a notebook or make a bookmark. Now I'm looking up cat adoption services to expedite my descent into cat ladydom.

6) I'm feeling really busy and stressed out these days, hence the infrequent blogging and repeated excuses when I actually do blog. But I've found time to enjoy myself at least once this week. Cade introduced me to Shaun of the Dead last night. It was hysterical.

5) My photography class was really nice this week. Two of my most challenging brats were in trouble for bullying a lower grade kid and stealing candy from her lunchbox. Another kid went home. Now all the kids know how to use the cameras, and I just have to walk around and remind them to take portraits of their partners, remove the lens cap, and stop representing.

4) The most romantic thing I've said to Cade recently: "I hope you're The One. I know too much about your bowels for you not to be The One." Violins (and large intestines) swelled.

3) I just learned about the Wii last month, and geocaching in the last week. It's like I live under a rock in Central Park. One of the big schisty kinds.

2) Somehow I have been volunteered to sponsor the middle school yearbook at my place of work. It's all because of the cameras, and possibly the fact that I have game.

1) My school is under review tomorrow, and we were blatantly told to fudge some records. Also, the principal has violated two special education laws. Hello, fallout.