Dear Amanda,

On Saturday, you will be 25. Just 24 years ago, you blew out frosting-flecked candles while flanked by all your loved ones. Now you will be packing your things from a small apartment in New York City - so small only a few loved ones can fit into such a place at a time, provided that they keep rotating bathroom occupancy - into a truck. You will move to a place with more walls and doors than you dreamed you'd have anytime soon. Even though you long escaped the protective clutches of home, it's the first apartment you ever chose all by yourself with no one else's input. You will have no one else to credit when you finally have space for a couch, no one else to blame when you have to carry it up three flights of stairs.

I'm writing this letter to you - to me - in order to record some thoughts I've been having about this quarter-century mark and what it means for us. Sometimes I try to imagine what the next 25 years will be like, if you are fortunate enough to have them, and who you will be at 50. Honestly, my head spins thinking about two-year leases and waterproof mascara, but I know I need to set some goals and think of what you may need to hear one of these days. Below are some things you might want to consider sometime, from Amanda at almost 25 to Amanda at any age after:

1. Never forget where you came from. You will always be a Texan, you will always be able to affect an accent, and you will always think authentic Mexican food is best served by tattooed ex-convicts. You are the product of two lines of working-class people who have struggled to make ends meet and live day to day. This is not a liability. It is part of who you are.

2. Think of all the help you've received from strangers who owed you nothing - your mentor, Life Coach, and countless educators who have helped you achieve your dreams semesters after you were in their classes. Be one of those people to at least one younger person you meet. Maybe he or she will remind you of when you needed a contact or friend, or maybe the circumstances will be completely different. But do it without wondering what you'll get out of it. Do it because you were lucky to have various people fill that role for you.

3. You will lose the people you love. You'll break up with a lover or a handful of them, because things will change for the worse. The law may have to be involved someday, along with lots of boxes, tears, and paperwork. You will get over it. In a matter of time, you will laugh and it won't be done bitterly at yourself and what you thought you had. You will also probably find someone else with whom to share your laughter.

4. It is certain that people you love will die, and you will never be ready for that. It will scar you forever, and you will struggle to remember their voices. (They're easy enough to forget with people who are still around, people with whom you could still talk if you had the desire or courage). Love while you can and try not to take for granted the good things, the annoyances, the fact that you have been fortunate to have your loved ones as long as you did. Maybe I should say do, for death never breaks the bonds between people, the chains between hearts.

5. As I write this, you are still so young with so much to experience. Will I even be able to recognize you 25 years from now? What about 10? Maybe you'll have kids, a spouse, a book deal, a house. Maybe you'll have none of these things. (I'm not even going into the fact that you will always have a mixture of pleasant and unpleasant circumstances that govern your life). Whatever you do, I wish you every happiness you grow to want. Trust that you can make some things happen. Other things out of your control can be survived.

I was going to close with some silly reminders, like "No mom jeans ever!" and "Take lots of pictures!" and "Make sure your having lived makes the world better, even if in a tiny way." But you know some of what to do and will figure out the rest. Maybe you can tell someone like me all about it someday.

I love you and am very excited to watch you grow.

Love,
Amanda