So America's Next Top Model.

Let me start by saying that somewhere in the underwhelming blah that was the finale, I decided that I have spent too much of my life watching cliche-ridden women compete for contracts that will not catalyze a successful career in the modeling industry. I wanted Caridee to win, but when she did, I wasn't satisfied. In fact, I felt kind of sad for Melrose. She won it all, except the big prize. It kind of reminded me of the time I didn't get that one Rotary Club scholarship, despite having the best grades, being the most articulate student to interview, and wearing a really dorky sweater set. I really didn't believe there could be any justice in the world after that loss. Or after George W. Bush took office that same year.

Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I don't think I can hate Melrose. Sure, she got the bizarro bitch edit. Like the other girls, though, she's spewing the same reality competition cliches: "I'm here to win," "I'm not here to make friends," "No one can stop me." And she delivered almost every time. Why begrudge her that? Her strategy was really not original or bad.

Caridee came across in the finale as really dumb. Her behavior during the runway show was ridiculous. Why spend so much effort getting in Melrose's face? It was silly. She also seems to have no control over the emotions cast on her face. Believe me, it takes one with this problem to know one. I, fortunately, am not a model or too much of a yes-woman, so I get by.

And Eugenia should have been gone a long time ago. "A real long time ago - feel me!" Production must have paid an insane amount of money just on the airbrushing for her. I'd have preferred to see A.J. in the final three, but alas, ANTM is operating under a Tyra Banksable agenda, which includes both repping the sistahood (someone had to say it) and unabashed self-promotion.

That's really all I have to say about it. I watched a few seasons and spent an hour last night utterly disinterested. It's time to move on. In the last year, I have had only two television shows that stood before me. But now, I only have one show on my hands. It's time for the trite catfights, Miss Jay, and Tyra "weave 'em and leave 'em" Banks to pack their belongings and leave.