[A phone conversation with my sister, the astute observer.]

Megan: So I think Daddy broke his finger.

Me: How?

Megan: The shed fell on it.

Me: What?

Megan: He was jacking it up to put a board under it, and it fell on his pinky. It happened really fast.

Me: Oh my God.

Megan: Yeah, he just kept saying, "Damn! Oh, shit! Son of a bitch!" over and over again, like one of those wind-up dolls that only says three phrases.

Me: Oh my God.

Megan: "Damn! Oh, shit! Son of a bitch! Damn! Oh, shit! Son of a bitch! Damn...!" Blood was gushing everywhere.