In the magical box above the newscaster's right shoulder, a mug shot appears.

Newscaster: This is a mug shot taken of [Arrested Pervert]. [Arrested Pervert] was charged with more than five counts of child pornography.

A picture of a clownish man with a propeller hat, sailor shirt, and brightly colored suspenders replaces the mug shot in the magical box.

Newscaster: And this is a picture of [Arrested Pervert] from his personal website, where he teaches children about whales.

Cade: Teaches children about whales?

Me: Heh. Sperm whales...humpback whales...belugas...

Cade: Sick.